U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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