My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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