Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
