I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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