cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
