So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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