you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
two words: eviction party
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
