ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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