the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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