i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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