I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
