i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
