he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
