did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
