Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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