I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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