You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
