I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
