I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
