I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
