how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
