we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
