I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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