in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
