dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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