he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
