Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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