So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
