He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
