How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
