I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
