Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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