My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
