I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
