Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize