I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
