i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
