You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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