woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
