If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
