he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
