I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
