My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
