we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
