Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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