I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
