At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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