Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
