I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
