Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
